WHOOOOOOOOO!!!! Let’s go SKYDIVING!
“Why,” you asked? Well, “Why not?”
Skydiving seems like something that you must do at least once in your lifetime. Not only does it promise through-the-roof adrenaline, it also gives you a certain degree of boasting right. In fact, afterward, when my sister and I told a bartender what we accomplished, he gave us each a free shot.
It all happened like this:
My sister had called and asked me if I wanted to go skydiving in San Diego, and I had said yes. The immensity of what was waiting for me did not sink in until we started signing our waiver form, which read something like this:
If I were to break my neck or get hurt in any way, or even suffer death, the X company is not responsible…
Wait, hold it man. I might get hurt, or even worse, die and no one will be held accountable? My heart skipped a full one minute beat, but I signed the form. I mean, what was I to do? If I didn’t sign the form I cannot jump, and if I signed the form… Well, let’s just say in the beauty of a catch-22, fingers crossed, eh?
After a brief instruction-and-practice session, our group of six piled into a tiny airplane and took off. It was fun at first. I even enjoyed the view. But when my instructor opened the plug door, and a gush of wind twirled in, I started panicking. Mildly.
Wait, are we jumping?
Wait, are we jumping first?
Wait, why are we jumping first?
Wait, why aren’t you saying anything? Wait!
Out you go!
It was f***ing scary! My mind went literally BLANK! I arched my back instinctively (recalling what I was told earlier) and my fingers grasped tightly around my straps. All I could think about was how much air there was, and such wind!
It wasn’t until I glanced down and saw the video cam that I regained my composure. Instantly I was reminded that I was being recorded and that I must look good because I paid an extra $75 to be recorded. Engulfed by vanity, I concentrated on controlling my facial muscles and tried “smiling” at the camera. It was impossibly windy. Blasted!
Landed. My knees felt wobbly.
We were presented with certificates that read “(name) exited the aircraft at 13,000 ft. and reached speeds of up to 120 m.p.h. before deploying the parachute”.
Thankfully, skydiving is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things. Did it. Cross it out. Done.